一句话的英语笑话

栏目:笑话段子 发表于:2020-06-02 03:01查看: 18

1、Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
有【些人】【吹牛】说丫能通灵,有【些人】【吹牛】说丫有【阴阳】眼,【其他】人【只是】【没有】【这种】【想象】【力而】已

2、I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
【啊我】好爱好爱【工作】啊~ 【工作】让【我好】【着迷】啊~我TMD死【盯着】它【几个】小时【了啊】!

3、We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
***管理【不是】【问题】,SB管理【才是】【问题】

84、Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
【女人】【或许】击得【并不】重,但她们击【得更】低…..
【女人】【总是】能【击中】男【人的】要害。

5、Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
直译:记着吧……【世界】【要不】恶心,【我们】早被吐【掉了】。
别【抱怨】了,【这个】【世界】要【是真】【和谐】了,【我们】【这种】人【就不】【应该】【存在】~
意译:【你们】TMD【给我】【记住】:【没有】【和谐】社会,【你们】早让美【帝国】主义给糟蹋了!

6、Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
上帝蜀黍疼你,只【是大】【家都】【觉得】你2B【而已】

7、I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
a. 【过去】老子【左右】【为难】。【现在】老子优柔寡断。
b. 我曾【是个】【怀疑】论者,【现在】我很【怀疑】这【一点】。
c. 过【去我】【难以】决断,【现在】【我不】大确信【是否】【还是】【如此】。

8、I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.
老子打死【都不】信流血5天【还不】挂【的物】种。/老子打死【都不】信娘们儿。

9、If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
直译:【如果】你【始终】【脚踏】实地,【那就】【别想】穿裤子了。
意译:人太【老实】【没法】活。

10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
政客和纸尿布有【一个】【共同】点【就是】:他【们都】【很有】【规律】地被替换,【而且】【因为】同【一个】【理由】——脏了!!

11、War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
【战争】【不能】决出正义,但能判出哪【方出】局。

12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationshi
a. 女【人的】***【可能】是装出【来的】。【但是】【男人】TMD【可以】整段【感情】【都是】装出【来的】!

b. 【女人】【假装】***以获取【真实】【的感】情;【男人】【假装】【感情】以获取【真实】的***。

13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
【我们】【永远】不【可能】【真正】的【成熟】,【我们】【只是】【学会】在【众人】【面前】装逼。

14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
【男人】就两种【状态】:饿 和 性***。 要【是他】不硬,就【给他】【个三】明治!

15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
光【总是】比【声音】跑【的快】点….这【就是】为嘛【有些】SB【只有】在【开口】【说话】【之后】你才【发现】【他是】在装B…

16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
我妈【每次】【对着】我骂草泥马【的时】候【都没】【看出】【其中】笑点。

17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
曾【以为】我【想要】【的是】【职业】,【结果】【发现】我【只是】【想要】工资()。

18、If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
【你要】是【觉得】没【人在】乎你【的死】活,那【你不】妨【尝试】【一下】跟【你的】债主玩躲猫猫~~

19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
XXOO【并不】【是结】论【而是】个【问题】…爽【不爽】【才是】答案…

20、Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
晚间新闻总【是以】“晚上好”【开头】,再【告诉】你你为【什么】好【不了】。

21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
直译:【一根】火柴能点着【整片】【森林】,一盒火柴也生【不起】个营火,这咋【回事】!
意译:想【当年】哥戴套【都能】【让人】怀孕,看今朝叔【竟然】【去看】男科

22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
【如果】4/5【的人】在【忍受】腹泻的【痛苦】,那【剩下】1/5咋【回事】?很【享受】吗?


23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
直译:知识【就是】【说你】【知道】西红柿【是一】种水果;【智慧】就【好似】【不要】【把它】放进水果沙拉里。
意译a:知识【就是】【告诉】【你说】【应该】把鸡蛋放进篮子,【智慧】【则是】叫你【不要】把【所有】鸡蛋都放进【一个】篮子。
意译b:【所谓】知识【就是】【知道】韩少和【小四】都【属于】80后,但【智慧】【告诉】【你这】终【还是】男女有别~
24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
上帝瞅着咱们呢,大伙【好歹】喜感点吧!

25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
【无论】,在【任何】【情况】下,【永远】,【不要】在【一个】夜晚,【同时】吃,***,和通便灵。

相关阅读